Jayne watched as Cassandra smirked, turning with his flowing layers fluttering behind him. As the advisor vanished from sight, Jayne imagined putting a firebolt through his skull. Watching him drop dead would be far too satisfying. Obsession, that’s what that was. They had known from the start that Cassandra was impossible. He was completely head over heels for Usa, in one twisted way or another. There was no way any outsider could break that bond.

That bond…

Jayne tried and failed again to push the image of Arai out of her head; the image of Arai inches from their face. His desperation had been palpable in the air; she could feel it through where Arai’s fingers had wrapped around her neck; she could see it in his blank, white eyes.

Frowning, she tried to shake the memory from her mind.

But Arai stayed.

Cassandra had exited the tunnel, leaving everyone standing in silence. While the easy recruitment of Maple had lightened the mood somewhat, a heavy atmosphere still permeated their bones. He was honestly still reeling at the ease at which they had convinced Maple to join their cause: idiocy of that degree didn’t deserve such a high position in the court. Jayne smoothed their brow as the annoyance started to leak through. There was a reason they were planning this coup…

Jayne frowned, recalling how Theodore had been taken away by Ruse during their conversation. The wizard had to know what they were talking about, the timing was too perfect. Perhaps their plan had already been figured out, and Ruse was just biding his time to ruin everything right when it mattered most. Jayne grimaced inwardly at the thought. Ruse was another character at court he would love to see roasting on a spit.

The tunnel was suffocating. He needed to get out, if just to breathe a little.

“I’m going for a walk,” Jayne turned to look at everyone.

“Alone?” Mallory asked. His distaste at the notion was written all over his face. He knew Mallory meant well, that he was just trying to do his job, but Jayne chose to ignore it. He could handle himself, he didn’t need a babysitter. Pushing the annoyance down, Jayne smiled sweetly.

“I’ll be fine. I can teleport, I just need some time to think.” They turned on their heels, walking as briskly as they could without raising suspicion or alarm. The ball had calmed down some, the mood shifting from bright and upbeat dancing to a softer, slower form of celebration. Jayne avoided looking at the partygoers before making their way along the edge of the pavilion.

The sun, now on its way behind the mountains to the East, casted long shadows along the grass. It painted what was usually the lush green of the courtyard into a striking pale yellow. A breath of the wind caused the leaves to shift, and Jayne narrowed their eyes. An image flashed into his mind: Arai turning to watch as Jayne entered her room, Arai turning to watch as Jayne exited the Goldenbloom dining hall, Arai turning to watch at every turn, every last move she had made in the past seven years. Four points of pain pricked Jayne’s palm as she ascended the stairs. She needed to cut her nails soon.

Jayne ducked into the throne room, grateful for the long shadows: he didn’t have it in him to plaster on a smile any longer. Of course, it was just the colors that made Arai look at him. It had always just been the colors. Arai’s one joy in life, which Jayne had returned to him through no action of their own. And then, when they had figured out Arai’s curse – or at least a part of it – they had stripped it away mercilessly. Again they felt the hands around their neck, the pressure on their airway, the sorrow radiating from those eyes.

The last time he saw those eyes… was the day after. When Arai turned to look at her with an expression so soft, so genuine… She had almost–

Jayne swallowed, trying once more to push the memory out of his mind.

But Arai stayed.

“I would have to give up what is most important to me,” he had said. On his knees, hair unbound and trailing down his slumped back; eyes blank, framed by those periwinkle scars.

Jayne remembered how he had struggled to breathe after hearing those words. He had condemned Arai to a grayscale existence, so why? Why those eyes? Why those words?

He wanted to know why. Why did Arai care? Beyond their curse, Jayne had provided nothing. So why?

They had been horrible to him these past seven years. The one thing that had kept them tethered together had been severed. The only reason for Arai to care for Jayne had vanished, Jayne had ruined the thing that Arai held most dear, his reason for living.

But Arai stayed.

Why?

Jayne broke out into a run. The colors of the tapestries lining the walls blurred together as he dashed down the hall. The air was crisp in his lungs as he barrelled past servants bringing large plates of food and drink back towards the throne room. He didn’t care if they got knocked over. He needed to know why. Why why why why why.

They were running so fast they almost missed their door, but they managed to skid to a stop in time. Panting, they stood staring at the plain, elegant door. On the other side was Arai, probably working on a tapestry.

“Oh! Don’t go in there Sir Jayne!”

Jayne nearly jumped out of her skin, but she recognized the shrill voice.

“Happy…? Where are you?”

“On your head!” Happy leaned forward, hovering in front of Jayne’s face. “I really don’t think you should go in there, Sir Jayne.” He blinked the hole in the shadow that was his eye, swaying slightly back and forth to a melody only he could hear.

“Shut it, worm,” Jayne waved Happy out of his face. He reached for the doorknob, barely registering the Alarm spell snap under his fingers.

“Oh… Oh no…” Happy murmured, wriggling around on Jayne’s head. “Jayne I think you should just go back to the ball-”

“Hello? Who’s there?”

Jayne looked down at Arai as he turned to look over his shoulder at the newcomers. He was sitting on the floor, a half-constructed tapestry covering his legs. Arai’s eyes widened as he took in Jayne’s face. “Jayne- What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the ball-”

“Silence. I don’t want another word out of you,” Jayne shut the door behind them. She glared down at Arai, at those eyes that were so wide, so sad, so… empty.

Happy tugged at Jayne’s hair, making his presence known again. “Jayne I really think it’s best if you go back to the others-”

“I said quiet,” Jayne reached up, grabbed Happy by the tail, and flung him onto the ground. She pointed a finger at him, releasing a concentrated firebolt that shattered the snake into countless fragments of shadow. The wisps drifted a bit before floating towards the door, as if being picked up by a stray wind.

“Happy! What did you do to him?” Arai moved to grab Jayne’s wrist, but she shot him a glare.

“I told you to shut it,” he turned to face Arai head on, taking a step forward. Arai shrunk back, placing a hand behind him for support. “He’ll be fine. I’m not here for him.”

Jayne took another step forward, causing Arai to inch further back. “Jayne, please… I don’t want to hurt you-”

“Why?” Jayne moved further forward, and soon Arai was pressed against the foot of Jayne’s bed. Feeling his back against the hard wood, Arai panicked, ducking around the corner.

“I can’t control myself… it’s hard enough to resist as it is with Ailas’s gift… I don’t know when that will run out… What if I hurt you?” Arai inched around the edge of the bed, scrambling backwards away from Jayne’s steady advances.

“I asked why.” Jayne pursued Arai around the edge of the bed, cornering him against the wall. Arai made a small yelping noise before clambering onto the bed backwards, his eyes never leaving Jayne’s face.

“Why what? Please, Jayne, don’t do this-”

Jayne followed Arai onto the bed, blocking his exit off the other side. “Don’t try to escape. Face me. Look at me, like you always have.” Jayne’s eyes bored into Arai’s as he inched closer, and closer still. Jayne narrowed her eyes as Arai pushed flush up against the carved headboard, pressing as hard against it… as if he wanted to put as much distance as he could between himself and Jayne.

“Why?”

“Jayne I- I don’t understand what you’re asking-” Arai stammered, closing his eyes and wincing away from Jayne’s harsh expression.

“Look at me!” Jayne grabbed Arai’s shoulders. Arai jumped, his eyes opening wide and snapping to meet Jayne’s. “You used to never stop looking at me. Why did you stop? Why don’t you look at me anymore?”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Arai murmured, swallowing. “I fear that any second I spend with you will be one too many-”

“Why don’t you want to hurt me?” Jayne pressed Arai’s shoulders into the headboard behind him, putting their entire weight behind their hands. “I stole the one thing you held most dear. And yet, you don’t want to hurt me?”

“The one thing I hold most dear? How could you steal yourself from me? You’re still here, aren’t you?” Arai cocked his head, his fear replaced with genuine curiosity, confusion. As if the idea that Jayne had just offered was absurd.

Jayne felt their breath catch in their chest.

“Your colors, you idiot! Those are what were most dear to you. I’m only second on that list because I gave them back to you for a few years. But I took them from you, so you should want me dead,” Jayne searched Arai’s face for any clues to what he was thinking. As usual, his thoughts and next actions were completely unable to be predicted.

“But you’re what is most dear to me.” Arai’s sincerity filled Jayne with rage. How was he pretending to be so calm? So genuine? When before, his feelings were always plastered all over his face. How come now he was able to pretend? He had to be pretending. He had to be…

Jayne ground her teeth, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. “Stop it. Stop. I know you’re lying-”

“I am an awful liar, Jayne. You know this better than anyone.” Jayne opened her eyes to see Arai’s face had changed. Gone were the blank, white eyes: in their place were two irises of swirling periwinkle and magenta. His hair was no longer down and in his face, but instead pulled into a detailed and delicate braid over his shoulder. This was the face that he had seen executed two weeks prior. He had just needed to make sure, to see it with his own eyes, that Arai had died. And they had seen it. Arai had died.

But Arai stayed.

“I could never fool you, no matter how many names I took on, you knew immediately who I was the moment we came face to face. I couldn’t fool you like I could fool the other people in this court… like I could fool anyone in the world.” Arai looked up at Jayne, his expression blank. “I look at you because you see me. It took my world to be plunged back into dismal darkness for me to know that I still wish to look at you.” Arai reached up to lightly brush Jayne’s face with his fingertips. He let his form slowly melt away to reveal his unfamiliar, scarred face. Jayne watched as Arai’s eyes returned to their pale, blank selves, he watched as the periwinkle and magenta snaked across his face, and as his hair lost its gentle pale color.

“Please,” Arai whispered, a small smile gracing his lips. “Don’t force me to look at you any longer.”

Jayne furrowed his brow.

You see me.

The face before him was unfamiliar, nothing like the faces of all of those who had served as his personal guard. And yet, those faces shared his eyes, his watchful gaze, his eternal presence. No matter what horrible things Jayne said to him, how often he requested a new personal guard, or any crime that Arai got himself wrapped up in, Arai had always come back.

Arai had been beaten, exiled, and killed.

But Arai stayed.

Because Jayne saw him…

Jayne didn’t know if he should laugh or cry. Jayne saw him? When every day, Jayne would return to his room and collapse, exhausted, he wasn’t the one who tended to Arai’s sore muscles. She wasn’t the one who cleaned up Arai’s messy desk whenever she was stressed, even if she had ensured she seemed perfectly fine. She wasn’t the one who left the room when Arai sat staring emotionlessly at the ceiling. Every time, it was Arai who tended, Arai who cleaned, and Arai who left. Every time, it was Arai who saw.

Every time, she wished Arai would disappear. That he would leave and take his seeing with him. And these past few days, without Arai and his seeing… If nobody was around to see him, was Jayne even alive?

He wanted to feel real.

He wanted to feel alive.

He wanted to feel seen.

These past few days, he had wondered if Arai would leave and go somewhere far away so as to never bother anyone at court ever again.

But Arai stayed.

Jayne grabbed the back of Arai’s neck, switching from pushing him away to pulling him in. When their lips collided, the script that had been steadily building itself up since she had left the ball shattered.

Arai’s hands landed on Jayne’s shoulders, pushing him away. She obliged immediately, pulling back. Horror and embarrassment flooded through Jayne at the thought that Arai didn’t reciprocate, then more horror at the idea that they wanted him to. Just what were they thinking?-

Before Jayne’s script could gather itself again and begin damage control, Arai rushed forward, pulling Jayne back towards him. Their lips met once more, filling Jayne’s mind with a sweet, blissful silence. Gone were the subtle corrections, the microexpressions, and the analysis. Arai’s hands snaked into their hair, his skin flushed beneath their fingers. There was nothing else in the world; just Arai-

“What’s happening up there?!”

Jayne shot away from Arai, separating them in an instant. He turned in horror to find the four others standing in the doorway to his bedroom.

His eyes glinted as he watched Ailas snuff out an eldritch blast as he hurriedly shushed Happy, who was out of sight on the ground. Within moments, Jayne was up and pushing past them.

“I’ll see you back at the ball,” they stated, maintaining a steady voice devoid of any emotion despite the wildfire raging within.

They passed by Maria, who was smiling softly to herself as she worked on a tapestry of her own. A chill ran down Jayne’s spine at her calmness, but he walked briskly out of his room back towards the pavilion. With each step, they tried to shake the feeling of Arai’s lips on their own, the look on Arai’s face right before they kissed for a second time…

But Arai stayed.

And Jayne smiled.

The Garden: Summer Before Senior Year

i wanted to remake it their first meeting but consider timelines sadge

It was perfect. The perfect temperature, the perfect humidity, the perfect weather. It had been a while since Arai had come to his favorite spot in the park. It was quiet, seperated from the bustling playground and miniature duck pond. He found it one day playing hide and seek with Abi back in middle school: he had never been found, and still hadn’t told Abi about his secret little hideaway. The best part about it was that it overlooked the entire park, all from the safety of a small spattering of bushes. He could see everyone, and no one could see him. Perfect.

He started unpacking his supplies, first his easel, then his half-finished canvas, then his two paints: black and white. This painting was for himself. He didn’t have to worry about getting the colors right, just the values, which he was perfectly good at anyways. He had been coming up here every week during Abigale’s weekend shift to try and relax a little. It had been working, kind of.

Just as Arai had finished unpacking everything, he heard a rustle in the foliage behind him.

“Alright, bye Mom. Yea. Don’t worry, I understand. Good luck on the dig.”

Arai froze, recognizing the voice even before the valedictorian exited the treeline. Sighing, Jayn Hyde pocketed his phone before looking up with distant eyes. Upon making eye contact with Arai, he nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Oh, god, you startled me,” Jayn took a breath, steading themselves before they plastered their trademark smile on their face. As usual, Arai noticed it didn’t reach their eyes. “Arai, was it? Sorry, I’m still trying to learn everyone’s names. A year sometimes isn’t enough to become acquainted with everyone, especially those who I don’t share many classes with.”

Arai glanced back at his painting, remaining silent as his growing sense of relief and relaxation vanished. He had never had a conversation with Jayn, he didn’t like how unsettling her smile was. It was like looking into a mirror, seeing how slightly off it was. He had grown far too comfortable with the sight, had long since given up trying to replicate what he saw on his peers’ faces. It looks like Jayn never had given it up, though. It seemed to work too. No one called her out on her fake smiles, or her forced laughs. Arai couldn’t shake the feeling that the only genuine emotion he had ever seen on Jayn’s face was the split second when she thought she was alone in the clearing, the phone hanging in her limp arm.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you were painting here…” Jayn drifted off as he took in the scene before him, his eyes widening ever so slightly upon seeing the half-finished landscape in Arai’s hands. “Wow… I had heard you were a good artist, but I’ve never gotten a chance to see your work in person. You’re incredible!”

Arai stared blankly at Jayn. The praise was common, it meant as little as Jayn’s smile. He turned towards his easel, placing the canvas gently upon its ledge before starting to squeeze out his paints onto his palette. Jayn’s discomfort radiated across the clearing, so thick Arai could feel it. As the silence stretched on and he lifted the paintbrush to the canvas, Arai noticed the sense slowly fading away. Confident Jayn had snuck away, he began to work.

Minutes stretched to hours as the sun moved steadily across the sky, bathing the park in an entirely different pattern of lights and shadows. Taking nature’s cues, Arai began to pack up.

“Thank you for letting me watch you paint.”

Arai dropped his palette onto the ground, spilling his excess paint into the dirt before spinning around to face Jayn.

“I didn’t let you-”

He froze. Jayn sat on the ground in front of him, her knees hugging her chest as she gazed calmly out over the trees with a gentle smile on her face. Her hair was bright and warm, her shoes even more so. The grass she sat on was a cool color, the opposite of her hair, the same shade as the leaves surrounding her.

Arai’s eyes widened as Jayn turned to meet Arai’s gaze. Her eyes were the most beautiful color he had seen, reflecting the clear sky above him.

“I didn’t mean to overstay my welcome, I hope you don’t mind, it was just very...” they drifted off, returning their gaze towards the park below once more. “peaceful up here.”

Arai could say nothing. All he could see, all he could think about was the bright, saturated view of the world he had suddenly been gifted. What was different? All he could focus on was the slight curve to Jayn’s mouth, the contentment that had finally reached their eyes.

Arai felt the mirror crack, then shatter. What he saw in front of him wasn’t a display of false happiness, or a fake smile. Arai felt his own face relax as he turned to look out over the park, now washed in beautiful shades of what he could only assume was green.

“I know.”

The Painting: First Day of School

Months had passed since Arai’s first encounter with color. He had thought he was finally cured, finally fixed, but the hues left just as swiftly as Jayn had, disappearing into the depths of the foliage once Arai started to pack up once more.

Jayn never came back to the clearing on top of the hill, at least not to Arai’s knowledge. Nevertheless, he finished the painting. He couldn’t stop thinking about how the colors looked, how they had felt to him. But no matter how much he tried to, he couldn’t picture the hues the way they had appeared to him.

Every time he climbed the hill, he hoped to see Jayn standing there, a smile on their face as they gazed out over the park, their hair whipping around their head like fire. But of course, this never happened, and Arai continued to be subjected to a grayscale world.

So, of course he looked forward to the first day of school. He had asked his mother to call the school and put him in as many higher-level classes as he could get. While he was in no means flunking his current classes, it was definitely difficult to move up, but after a countless amount of tests and some… encouragements from Kionna Qywnn, Arai found himself with nearly the exact schedule as the valedictorian, with a few art-based exceptions. He had to sacrifice a free period with Jayn in order to maintain his art class, but it wasn’t much of a big deal, because Abigale would have thrown a fit if he learned that Arai had ditched him.

Arai walked to his first day of class with Abigale glued to his side, and his painting weighing down his already heavy backpack. The walk felt much longer than Arai remembered as he listened to Abigale chatter endlessly, but they finally arrived at school. When Abigale had heard that Arai had changed his entire schedule, he attempted to follow suit, which was apparently a much easier task for him because he had already qualified for all of the advanced classes, aside for English. Though, by the end of June, they had both secured a new, more impressing looking schedule.

Arai wasted no time getting to his first class, opening the door to a dark classroom. To his surprise, Jayn was sitting front and center already, their eyes scanning the pages of the book assigned over the summer. Arai froze in the doorway, causing Abigale to bump him from behind. Stumbling inside, Arai tried to catch himself before he fell flat on his face, steadying himself with a hand on Jayn’s desk.

“Oh!” Jayn blinked in surprise, gazing down at Arai with gray eyes. Their facade snapped into action, a gentle smile growing on their face as they closed their book. “Are you alright, Arai?”

Straightening up, Arai looked up at Jayn with a blank expression. Arai’s silence irked Jayn: Arai noticed their eyes subtly narrow as they followed Arai. They remained staring at each other silently, broken only as Abigale made his way into the room.

“You good, Arai?”

“I’m fine. Be careful next time, Abi. I nearly fell.” Arai kept his eyes on Jayn’s as he responded before looking back at his friend. “Could you give us a minute, Abi? I need to speak with Jayn.”

“Alone?” Abigale cocked his head, his eyes shooting between the two figures in front of him. “Sure, I guess… I’ll be outside.”

Arai turned back to Jayn, who looked just as surprised as Abigale did before he turned and left the classroom. Jayn smiled again, closing their book properly as they set it on their desk. They were about to speak up when Arai interrupted him.

“You didn’t go back to the park.”

Jayn paused for a second, their mask slipping ever so slightly in surprise before they clamped down on it again. Arai could see the gears turning in their head as they processed what he said, and what they thought he wanted to hear. He had seen it countless times before.

“I did, but I didn’t want to intrude on your space again. If I saw you there, I left-”

“Why.” Jayn paused again after being interrupted. Arai noticed the strained smile, the infinitesemal narrowing of her eyes, the slightly longer than normal pause before she responded again.

“I thought you preferred to be alone while you painted.”

Arai remained quiet as he took in Jayn’s words, then removed his backpack to take out the painting. Upon seeing it, Jayn’s smile was replaced by surprise.

“Here.”

Jayn’s eyes widened even more. Arai’s gaze honed in on their irises, waiting for their true happiness to break through. But his world remained achromatic.

“What?” Jayn broke his eyes away from Arai’s painting to lock them with Arai’s.

“It’s for you. I’m giving it to you.” Arai held out the painting, practically placing it into Jayn’s hands.

“I can’t possibly take this- I mean you worked for so long on it… We don’t even know each other, why in the world do you want to give it to me?” Jayn pushed the painting away from them. Arai saw the tips of their ears grow a shade darker.

“I want to see your smile.”

Jayn froze completely. Silence aside from the gentle tick of a clock filled the room as Jayn stared at Arai’s piece. When their voice finally broke the quiet, it was barely more than a whisper. “What…?”

“I want to see your smile, and this view made you smile. So, I’m giving it to you.”

“I see…” Jayn reached out slowly to take the painting. She looked down at him, smiling contently. “Thank you.”

It didn’t reach her eyes.

Arai frowned. “Not that smile.”

The bell rang just as Jayn’s face broke. Abigale opened the door, allowing a stream of confused looking students into the room. Their eyes darted from Arai and his open backpack to the painting in Jayn’s hands. Arai’s friend bumbled over, a stupid grin on his face. “I stopped any students who wanted to come in! Told ‘em you were having a super important super secret discussion with our valedictorian here!”

Arai said nothing as he crouched for his bag, zipping it up and throwing it around his shoulder. “Idiot…” he mumbled, sliding past Jayn’s desk and into an empty seat a few rows back. He heard the whispers rising around him. Gritting his teeth, he pulled out his book and began doodling in the margins.

A silhouette on a hill, hair whipping around like fire.

The Beach: The Week Before Homecoming

Homecoming was around the corner. Arai had been kept busy with his magical girl duties, and hadn’t had the chance to go back to the park. He had been trying to go every day, just for the hopes of meeting Jayn there once more. School made meeting up difficult: he didn’t want to be the subject of any rumors, not any more than he usually was. More importantly, he didn’t want Jayn to get caught up in any either, and end up associating Arai’s attempts to make her smile with those nasty rumors.

Arai generally left Jayn to his own devices during the school hours, though he gifted him more paintings whenever he got the chance to, which increased as the weeks went on. It turns out, Arai found that painting for the joy of someone else was a lot more rewarding than painting for himself, or for his mother.

Every day, Arai shows up early to English class, and either immediately moves to his seat, or gives Jayn his painting wordlessly. On the days that he has a painting for Jayn, he waits for her smile. It never reaches her eyes, but that does nothing but push Arai to try harder.

Today, Arai had managed to break away from Abigale and his magical girl duties for the afternoon, a rare occurance. Immediately, he walked to the park, carrying his recent project within his backpack, along with the rest of his supplies. When he made it to the top of the hill, he stopped in his tracks. Laying on the ground on his back was Jayn, staring up at the sky with distant eyes.

Arai approached cautiously, slowly allowing his shadow to cross over Jayn’s face. She wordlessly looked over at Arai, her false smile taking longer than usual to rise to her face.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can leave if you want-”

“There is no need.” Arai interrupted, walking over to where Jayn laid and sitting down next to him. Jayn sat up, but Arai raised a hand, hovering over his shoulder. Not touching, but it was enough to encourage Jayn to stop getting up. “Stay.”

Jayn paused, her smile falling into an expression of slight confusion. “It’s really no trouble, I was just about to leave anyways-”

“Stay,” Arai said firmly, but swiftly regretted his tone. Taking a deep breath, he lowered his hand and turned to face the scenery. “I’m sorry for being so brash. You can leave if you wish, but don’t feel as if you need to for my sake.” He paused for a moment before turning to look at Jayn again. “It’s nicer up here with someone else, is it not?”

Jayn looked flabbergasted at Arai’s words, but didn’t move from her spot. They held Arai’s gaze for a few seconds before blinking and turning to look back out over the park. “I guess.”

Arai smiled softly before reaching into his bag and pulling out his current project. A beach scene, drawn from a reference on his phone. “Do you like the beach?” Arai questioned lightly as he continued to set up, balancing the canvas on his knees as he squeezed out black and white paint onto the palette.

Jayn remained silent for a moment, then nodded. “It’s been a while since I’ve been, but it can be very lovely.”

“Mn,” Arai nodded, putting his paint brush in his mouth as he readjusted his set-up, opting for his hands and legs instead of the easel laying abandoned in his bag. “I used to live in California. I spent many days on the beach then, but I was very young. I don’t remember it much anymore.”

Jayn turned to look back at Arai, their eyebrows furrowed. “You lived in California?”

“Yes, when I was still in elementary school. I only lived there for a few months, then I moved to Pennsylvania, then New York City, and now here.” Jayn pursed their lips, but didn’t question further. “There are not many beaches around here. Did you also used to live somewhere coastal?”

Jayn nodded, smiling gently, though of course it didn’t reach their eyes. “I used to move around a lot because of my parents’ work. I used to live in Greece, that’s where I went to the beach. But we moved around to a lot of different countries before arriving here.”

“We have something in common, though I guess I had the luxury of settling long before you did,” Arai began to mix his paints into various shades of gray, but kept his eyes on Jayn’s face. There was no hint of joy anywhere.

“Yeah, I guess. It was cool to move around to different countries, though. I got to see many cool sights! And I know a little of a bunch of languages, enough to get me around some of the more recent places I lived. I made a bunch of memories.”

“Though not happy ones?” Arai questioned.

“What?” Jayn whipped their head around, but Arai had moved his gaze to his painting.

“You don’t smile when you reminisce. Not really.”

Jayn frowned slightly before reconstructing their mask. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“You smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. It was difficult for me to move around so much, but I at least remained within the same country, with the same language. I don’t have many fond memories of when I constantly moved. Though, while similar, our situations are still different, so I could be reading too much into it.” Arai glanced at Jayn out of the corner of his eyes, noticing her own gaze had flicked down to her phone, which lay tightly grasped in her hand. “Expecting a call?”

Jayn’s eyes widened, but her face quickly fell back into her well-rehearsed mask as she pocketed her phone. “No, I just thought I got a notification, that’s all.”

Arai nodded, returning his attention to his painting. They sat in silence for a few minutes. It took a long time for Jayn to finally relax again, and Arai winced inwardly. He had made them uncomfortable, which was extremely counter intuitive. Just as he was about to say something a lot less probing, Jayn interrupted the quiet.

“Why do you paint in black and white? I’ve heard stories about your bright use of colors, but every painting you give to me is in grayscale.”

Arai’s paintbrush slowed on the canvas. Saying nothing, he simply stared at the canvas, it’s contents identical to what he saw on his screen, to what he saw when he was a kid living in California.

“It’s easier,” he responded simply, his voice barely more than a whisper. He waited a beat more before properly turning to face Jayn, holding out his paintbrush. “Would you like to paint? I’ve grown tired of this piece. Having someone else work on it might spark some more inspiration.”

Jayn blinked in surprise, then waved his hands. “No, no I would only ruin it. It’s so pretty, and I wouldn’t want to cover up your painting-”

“It’s your painting, not mine. I was planning on giving it to you anyways, so there is no way you could ‘ruin’ it in my eyes,” Arai interrupted, placing the painting and his paintbrush gently on Jayn’s lap. “Any changes you make to it would be of no consequence to me, only to yourself. Feel free to do what you want.”

“But… why?” Jayn whispered, genuine confusion on her face. It was the first genuine expression Arai had seen on Jayn since she had gently smiled all those months ago. Arai frowned slightly, then shrugged.

“These past few weeks, while I have been gifting you my paintings, you have not smiled. Perhaps my approach was wrong, as I had assumed seeing the same things that originally made you smile would have the same affect. However, the last time you smiled, it was because you were calm and relaxed, not just because of the view. Painting helps me calm down, so maybe it will do the same for you, and I will be able to see your smile again.”

Jayn remained silent, paintbrush and painting in hand, unmoving. Their face was void of all emotion, fake or otherwise as they stared blankly at the grayscale beach in front of them. They didn’t move their eyes as they quietly sighed. “I’m flattered by all of this, I really am, but I’m not interested in dating anyone at the moment.”

Arai furrowed his brow, confused at Jayn’s words. “Ok... Well, I have a blank canvas, so I can work on that while you figure out what you want to paint onto the beach,” Arai stood quickly, forgetting that a tree was firmly planted directly behind him, with branches protruding directly above him. Arai aggressively hit his head on one of these proud branches with a rather large thunk!

“Shit!” Arai rubbed the back of his head, his eyes squeezed shut against the pain. Suddenly, Arai heard the melodic sound of someone laughing, and he opened one of his eyes to see Jayn cracking up, their hair alight in color. Arai paused, blinking as he adjusted to a world fully saturated. A small smile grew on his face as he leaned back down, rummaging through his bag for his second canvas as if nothing happened.

Jayn kept a small smile on their face as they hesitantly began to work on the painting Arai had given to them.

Arai said nothing else the remainder of the evening, content to leave his canvas blank as he gazed out on the sea of leaves the same fiery shade as Jayn’s hair, the sound of their laughter playing over in his mind.

The Dance: Homecoming

Arai had no more paintings to give to Jayn before Homecoming was upon them. He was still recovering from the previous gunge attack, and was trying to keep his wits about him. He got ready with Abigale in his pirate-themed getup, but neither of their hearts were in it. The entire group of Degungers believed another attack was just waiting to happen, and Homecoming was just as likely a place as any. The day at school had been heated as well, with people being much more on edge. All they could do, however, was wait for the attack to happen. There was nothing more they could do to try and prepare for the inevitable.

As the dance commences, Arai finds himself motivated to do nothing other than hover by the punch, which has unfortunately been spiked. The snack table seemed to be the only place where the music was even remotely low, but it was still unbearable. With the trashcan being across the impassable sea of dancing bodies, Arai had no other choice but to keep his cup and hope he didn’t forget it was spiked.

The night progressed as Arai stayed by the snacks, watching as the other Degungers danced, or in Demetrius’s unfortunate case, be forced into contact with drunk girls. Arai had just stopped himself from his fifth attempted sip when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Well, less of a tap and more of an aggressive grab, forcibly spinning him around. Arai looked blankly down at Jayn, who had a determined expression on his face.

“Yes?” Arai asked, taking in how insistent Jayn looked. This wasn’t a chance encounter: he had been sought out. Arai didn’t know if this was something to be pleased about.

“You confuse me. You gift me paintings, but ignore me all other times. You spend an entire afternoon with me in the park, then radio silence,” Jayn furrowed his brows, and Arai noticed a slight dusting of darkness on the tips of their ears. Arai’s gaze flicked to Jayn’s hand, which held a near-empty cup of punch. Apparently, it didn’t take much. “What do you want from me, Arai?”

Arai reached down, gently taking the punch cup from Jayn’s hand and placing it on the table, “I told you before: I just want to see you smile. And you shouldn’t drink any more of this, it’s spiked.”

“And I told you I have no interest at dating at the moment, so if you’d just lay off your attempts at winning me over-”

Arai interrupted Jayn, shaking his head. “That’s not what I said. I have no interest in dating you. I merely want to see your smile, to hear you laugh. Is that so wrong?”

Jayn paused, their determination melting into a lost look. They glanced down at the cup of punch on the table, Arai’s hand still lightly steadying it. “But… why? We’ve barely spoken. You don’t know me.”

“I want to. I would like to know you, Jayn. In the hopes that I see your true smile, and hear your true laughter.”

“You see me smile all the time… we’re in all of the same classes…” Jayn trailed off, looking out at the crowd.

“No, I don’t. I’ve only seen you smile twice. You don’t smile at school,” Arai put his own cup down as well, peering at it with slight disgust. “You smile at the park, though I suspect you can smile in other places as well, if the right conditions are met.”

Jayn remained silent, looking away from Arai with a complicated expression on their face. After a moment of quiet filled with the deep bass of the dance music, Jayn finally turned back to Arai. Their face looked… different. Unlike any other time Arai had seen them.

“I see. Well, I’ll see you around, Arai,” Jayn pivoted, and quickly disappeared into the crowd. Arai looked down at the pair of punch cups left on the table and sighed. That’s when the screams happened.

---

It had happened so fast. First the werewolf, then the Phantom had appeared. Now Arai, looking quite jingly at the moment, stood in the middle of the dancefloor, his color whip out and ready to strike at the Phantom. Val had already been unmasked, though Arai supposed it didn’t matter much because she had already transformed in front of everybody at the dance, like an idiot.

Arai swung his whip out at the Phantom, who grabbed onto its acidic colors and tugged Arai closer with surprising strength. The Phantom’s hand gripped Arai’s face and pulled. He could feel the mask come off. It was as if an invisible veil was yanked off his face, and while there was no explicit change to his surroundings, it was as if the world had lost a little bit of sparkle. Arai felt his body get flung to the floor, and he skidded to a stop at the feet of someone who didn’t manage to escape just yet. He glanced up, and was met with the wide, terror-filled eyes of Jayn.

“Arai…?” his own name seemed to echo around him. Jayn’s face was quickly drowned out by the flashlights of a million smartphones, documenting the fight, and unfortunately his face. This was going to take a lot of damage control.

The Walk: Directly After Homecoming

After leaving the bathroom where all the degungers had congregated after the fight, Arai wanted nothing more than to leave and go back to his room where he was certain no one would bother him. He had been questioned about his recent gifts to Jayn, and Abigale was convinced something was going on. Arai simply responded the same way as when Jayn asked, which had done nothing but strengthen Abigale’s beliefs.

Arai replayed the encounter with the Phantom in his head, and found himself fixating on the way Jayn had looked down at him. Her eyes were wide, confused, complicated. He hadn’t had enough time to decipher what her expression meant before the lights started flashing, and the music drowned everyone out. Before he knew it, the monster had been defeated, revealed to be Brant, and they were sitting in the bathroom having what Abigale called a “sharing circle”.

He had gotten halfway home when he heard rushing footsteps approaching. Quickly, he turned and prepared to transform to defend himself. “One man’s trash-MFPH!”

A hand clamped over his mouth, and just as Arai was about to bite it, he saw who the hand belonged to.

“Arai… don’t say anything… just listen to me…” Jayn was panting, the look of severe determination had returned to their face. They took a deep breath, seeming to prepare themselves for something. “I don’t know what you want from me. You keep saying that you just want to see my smile, which sounds an awful lot like you’re attempting to flirt with me, but then you deny any interest in doing so. You’re contradictory, and it is getting on my nerves. So, now that we’re not at the party, and you’re worn down from the fight, I’m going to need you to tell me the actual truth. What is the actual reason you want to see my smile, Arai?”

Slowly, Jayn removed his hand from Arai’s face. They were awfully close, their noses barely inches apart. Arai took a step back, creating some distance between the two. “I have always been nothing but truthful with you, Jayn. What I said before is true. I don’t want to date you. All I want is to hear you laugh, or see you smile. I want you to be happy. You don’t look happy, not most of the time.”

Jayn swallows, their face conflicted and confused. They’ve completely abandoned their facade, allowing their true feelings to shine through the cracks. They seemed… frustrated. Angry. “You’re not answering my question, Arai. Why. People don’t just want to see people smile, there’s always a motivation behind it. Whether you want to ride my coattails out of unpopularity, or you want to sleep with me, or-”

“When you smile, my world gets brighter,” Arai stated. “That is the truth, and that is the only reason I want you to smile, nothing more, nothing less. It would be nice if I were the reason for you to smile, as that would mean I get to bask in its color, but I suppose it would be nice for yourself if you smiled more in general.” He paused, his gaze moving down to Jayn’s mouth. “You have a very pretty smile, Jayn.”

Jayn swallowed, their eyes locked onto Arai’s face. “For someone who doesn’t want to flirt, you sure are doing a hell of a good job at it…” they mumbled under their breath.

“What was that?” Arai asked, his gaze moving up to Jayn’s eyes.

“Nothing,” Jayn quickly responded, unable to meet Arai’s gaze. He watched a car pass by the empty road, following its headlights into the darkness ahead. Arai said nothing as he kept staring into Jayn’s eyes.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you this, Jayn,” Arai said, taking a small step forward, closing the gap between them once again. “I never get to see your eyes properly. What color are they?”

Arai watched as Jayn’s eyes flicked around his face, anywhere but his eyes. He noticed they lingered around his mouth. “You would know better than I do, wouldn’t you? Why don’t you tell me.”

Arai paused. He didn’t know, couldn’t possibly know, that was why he was asking. But of course Jayn didn’t know that. Arai smiled gently, softly. “Smile, and I will tell you.”

Jayn swallowed, finally meeting Arai’s gaze for a moment, but quickly turned away.

“God, you’re insufferable…” she murmured. Arai frowned, taking a step back to give her space once more.

“Did I do something to upset you?” he asked.

“You’re just… too much. I can read people. I can tell when they want something more than what they were explicitly saying. But looking at you, I can’t see anything suggesting ulterior motives behind that smile. I can’t understand you at all.”

Arai let her stand in silence for a moment. “The sky.”

“What?” Jayn scoffed, turning to look at Arai again.

“Your eyes. They’re the color of the sky at midday, the sky I saw when you smiled for the first time, at the park last summer. I’ve been told that the sky reflects the sea, and vice versa, so I imagine your eyes are the color of the sea as well.”

Jayn stared at him, his expression unreadable. After a moment, he finally replied. “You could have just said blue. No need to be so… poetic…” he drifted off, breaking eye contact once more.

“Blue… Yes, blue. The color of the sky, and the sea. Blue. Ah! Blueberries! They’re blue too! Or, at least their name suggests as much.” Arai’s face lit up with his discovery, and he grinned like a child.

Jayn looked on in wonder, then couldn’t contain their laughter. It bubbled out of them, and their face cracked into a wide smile. “A blueberry? You’re just realizing blueberries are blue?” They laughed, rendering Arai motionless.

Arai took a step forward once more, and when Jayn finally calmed down and composed themselves again, they noticed they were mere inches apart once again. Jayn gasped, surprised at the sudden closeness.

“Blue… you’re right. Your eyes are blue,” after a moment, Arai straightened up, once again putting some distance between them. “I told you I would tell you the color of your eyes if you smiled. Though, I guess I didn’t really need to,” he drifted off, turning away from Jayn and towards the side of the road, covered in foliage. “Hm. It’s rather too dark to see much at all. A shame…”

Jayn smirked, following Arai’s gaze. “I thought my smile brighted up your world. Still not enough?”

Arai turned to face Jayn once more, his face completely serious. “It does. It brightens it infinitely. Even so, I’m afraid I could never get enough. The world is beautiful as is, though it can be much more beautiful with your smile or your laugh to accompany me.”

Jayn’s triumphant smirk fell.

Arai smiled gently. “Though,” he took a step closer, raising a hand to hover around the side of Jayn’s face, not quite touching. “I feel as though your own world might grow brighter still when you look out at it with joy. Do you not agree?”

Jayn swallowed, and Arai noticed his ears grow a shade darker, deeper. The light warm dusting spread to Jayn’s cheeks, and Arai lowered his hand. “It is true that you brighten my world with your joy, but I have no evidence that I do the same for you. Maybe I do the opposite, I would have no way of knowing. You don’t smile when you see me. Only when you feel at ease, like in the summer, or when I do something to make you laugh. It is never me, or my presence alone, like it is for me with you. I’ve been selfishly seeking your smile without stopping to ask you if you wanted me to.” Arai’s watch beeped, causing him to stiffen. “It’s twelve already? I’m sorry. I will see you on Monday, Jayn. I must get home now. My apple slices are probably turning brown…” he mumbled as he quickly turned away, beginning to walk swiftly into the darkness.

Jayn stood there, hand half reached out as they watched Arai’s silhouette disappear into the night. A wind rustled the foliage, causing Jayn to shiver. They rested a hand on their cheek, only vaguely surprised that it was hot to the touch. Turning, she chuckled to herself. “Apple slices… what is he, ten?”

The Cage: Arai’s Gunging, via Jayn POV

Jayn had noticed Arai had been off in the days following homecoming. But, she had never imagined that Arai would intercept her in the hallway, a strange and distant look on his face unlike anything Jayn had ever seen on him. His hair had been let down, and his eyes had no pupils. This was greatly upsetting, as without any pupils, Arai was completely colorless to Jayn. Somehow, it unsettled him more than he thought it would. All the warmth he had begun to feel around Arai, while in short supply to begin with, had frozen up.

Arai had taken one look at her and all of that mysterious fog had vanished. A bright smile had grown onto his face, and he took Jayn by the hand and ran to the art room as fast as he could. He had giggled like a child as he opened the door and led Jayn inside, sitting her down in the center.

“I’ve finally found you!” he had exclaimed, breathless as they sat on the art room floor together. “I don’t know who you are, but I knew I was looking for someone. I don’t think I’ve met you before, but I feel really happy when I see you, so I think that means something!”

Jayn frowned, a feeling of unease growing in his chest. “What do you mean you don’t know me, we’ve been going to the same school for over a year now. You’ve been gifting me paintings for nearly a month. If you’re joking, it’s not funny.”

Arai cocked his head, his expression looking cartoonishly confused on a face that typically remains stony faced. It was unsettling. It… wasn’t Arai. Jayn could get the sense that he wasn’t joking. Something was wrong.

“I’m not joking. Ms. Qywnn told me not to lie, except for my big secret!” Arai grinned widely – to widely – and crawled over to Jayn. “You don’t seem to smile a lot mister…” he frowned before leaning in really close.

Big secret? Jayn warily smiled in an attempt to ward off the way Arai was acting, but even she knew it didn’t look convincing. Jayn couldn’t help but be reminded of their proximity only a few days before. This felt different. Wrong. Uncomfortable. This wasn’t Arai, or at least the same Arai who compared his eyes to the sky, or to blueberries.

“That’s not a smile, Mister. Here! Lemme try!” Arai stuck out his tongue as he leaned in even further, grabbing Jayn’s cheeks with his hands and gently pushing them into a smile. He tentatively let go, but frowned when the corners of Jayn’s mouth fell with his hands. “Hmm. That won’t work either. Would you smile more if I actually joked? Do you like jokes, Mister?”

“Uh…” Jayn looked around the room as he leaned back from Arai’s advances. He couldn’t help but feel vaguely uncomfortable. Arai hadn’t turned on the light, and the blinds were half-down, casting the art room in a dull, gray light. From what he could see, they were alone, but it was too dark to see if someone lay hidden in the corners. At least for now, he would have to play along. There was no one who could provide a secondary witness account to Arai’s strange behavior, though Jayn assumed it wouldn’t take much to convince someone that Arai had been acting… odd. “Yeah, I like jokes. Tell me your best one, Arai.”

Arai gasped, leaning back and putting a comfortable amount of distance between them. He put his hand to his chin in a cartoonish gesture, his tongue poking out as he thought long and hard about a joke to present to Jayn. “Ok! Why do fish live in saltwater!” Arai was basically bouncing on his knees in anticipation. His eyes were bright and expectant. The complete opposite of his usual distant, aloof look that he wore around the halls of the school, or the pleasant, gentle look he wore when painting at the park. Or the determined, genuine expression he had while hovering mere inches from Jayn’s face, hand hovering mere breaths away from his blushed face…

Jayn swallowed, returning his attention to the task at hand. “Hmm. I don’t know. Why do fish live in salt water?”

Arai grinned like a child, practically bursting with excitement that he gets to tell Jayn the answer. “Because pepper makes them sneeze! Hahaha! Isn’t that one silly?”

Jayn nodded, laughing half-heartedly at the childish joke. What was going on with Arai? Why was he acting like this? Jayn lets their ingenuine laughter fade away, unable to meet Arai’s expectant, glittering eyes. “So, you said you had a big secret, right? What is it? I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

Arai frowned, pouting with his bottom lip sticking out a comical amount. “Ms. Qwynn told me not to tell anyone, or else I’d have to move away again, because the other kids would make fun of me.”

“Ms. Qwynn… Is that your mother?” Jayn questioned.

Arai nodded enthusiastically. “Yup! I’m to call her Ms. Qwynn. She says it’s more sperectful that way.”

“Sperectful…?” Jayn murmured to himself.

“Mhm! I gotta sprect Ms. Qwynn, ‘cause she’s paying for my art classes, and she says I’m really good and I shouldn’t waste my talent!”

“Oh, respect. You mean respect?”

“Yeah! Sperect! Exactly.” Arai sits like a dog awaiting praise. Jayn can practically hear his tail wagging against the floor.

“I promise I won’t make fun of you for your secret, and I won’t tell anyone, so no one else would either. You can trust me, ok, Arai?”

Arai pauses for a minute, scrunching his face up as he contemplates. “Do you pinky promise…?”

Jayn nodded, holding out a hand. Arai wrapped his pinky around his, and he felt a slight twinge in his gut. This isn’t Arai, but he has his face and his hands. This is the first time he’s willingly touched Arai, but it felt… wrong.

Arai completes the pinky promise, and his face lights up. He scoots closer, lifting a hand to his mouth as he moves to whisper into Jayn’s ear. It’s barely intelligible, but Jayn feels each word in their bones.

“I can’t see colors!” Arai leans back, a sheepish grin covering his face. “But, I have this feeling that if I see your smile, they’ll all come in! Can you please smile, Mister?”

Jayn’s world falls apart. Of course. Of course there was something underneath his gentle smiles, his careful words, his gifts.

That first day, on the hill at the park, Arai was nothing but cold to her. Then, he had allowed her to stay, or at least she had thought so. It was so peaceful, so freeing, to have someone there but to not have to put up a front, to have their focus directed anywhere but her. The view was beautiful, his paintbrush on the canvas gentle and deliberate. And his back was to her the entire time: no peering eyes, no prying questions. Just being there, being human.

Then, she let it get to her head. She let the mask down, and he turned around.

And everything changed.

“I’ve been selfishly seeking your smile without stopping to ask you if you wanted me to.” Arai’s words from the days prior resurfaced in her mind. It had seemed harmless at the moment, a simple acknowledgement that his special attention may be unwanted.

“I’m sorry…”

And then, the apology. What was it for? What did he mean? “I’m sorry for wanting your smile for my own gain”, or “I’m sorry for flirting with you so you let your guard down, and show me the colors I so desperately need to see”?

“Mister?”

Jayn jolted back into the present, blinking as she looked down at an expectant Arai. “Please don’t tell anyone, Mister. But I don’t know if your smile fixes me for sure yet.”

“I’m sorry, buddy,” Jayn slowly said. “I can’t help you. I can’t give you the smile you want.”

Arai frowned, deflating slightly. “Awww. Are you sure?”

Jayn nodded.

Arai sat in silence for a bit, then got up from his spot on the floor. “That’s ok, I can’t force you to be happy,” He began to wander towards the easels spattered across the art room, lightly touching the sides of each one.

Suddenly, the door opened with a long, drawn out creak. Four silhouettes stood in the door, peering into the dark art room. Jayn strained his eyes against the light spilling into the dim room, struggling to make out the backlit figures who had just arrived.

“Arai? Are you in here?”

Jayn’s eyes adjusted, and he was able to make out the four figures that had fought the giant wolf at homecoming alongside Arai. The one who was revealed to be Val looked over at Jayn, and her eyes widened at the sight.

“Jayn?”

Arai turned, looking between Jayn and the Degungers with a confused look on his face. “Jayn? Is that your name, Mister?”

Jayn nodded, but kept his eyes on the four people who had just arrived.

“Are these your friends, Mister Jayn?”

Before Jayn could respond, the short figure adorned in a black leather jacket and an excessive amount of paperclip chains, jumped in.

“Yeah! We’re super good friends with Jayn, the closest ones they’ve got! Now, come here Jayn, let’s get you back to class.”

Jayn stayed sat on the floor, glancing over at Arai. They felt an uncertainty rising in their gut, along with something akin to fear. Would he let them leave? Would they be trapped here, kept against their will? Did Arai have the capability to do that to someone?

But Arai just smiled sadly, putting his hands at his sides. “Ok! Mister Jayn, I think you’ll have a better time with your friends than with someone you don’t know. Maybe they’ll make you smile, and you’ll let someone else see colors instead!”

The bright smile plastered across Arai’s face was so unlike him. Jayn felt like this was some sort of trick, some cruel joke he was playing with her.

“See colors?” One of the tall degungers asked. “What do you mean Arai?”

Arai pouted childishly once more. “Shh! That’s my big secret. I can’t tell anyone, or I have to leave again! I just got here from California… I don’t want to leave again!”

Jayn froze. A scene from the top of the hill flooded his memories.

“You lived in California?”

“Yes, when I was still in elementary school.”

“Arai,” he asked tentatively. “How old are you?”

Arai grinned, holding out both hands, fingers splayed. “I’m 10 years and two months!”

“Arai’s birthday is in November…” the tall hero said, a look of confusion crossing his face.

“That’s what you’re confused about, and not the fact that he just said he was ten years old?” the leather-clad one snapped. With a sigh, the hero wearing a light, flowy outfit bedazzled with stars padded over to Jayn.

“Let’s get you out of here,” they murmured, holding out a hand. Jayn took it tentatively, shooting a glance back at Arai as they headed towards the door.

“Bye Mister Jayn!” he said, waving enthusiastically. “I hope your friends make you laugh! I’m sorry my fish joke didn’t…”

After everything, Jayn couldn’t hold it in anymore. Arai was acting so strange, and yet was still so kind. They let out a small chuckle, barely loud enough to be heard. But Arai’s face lit up, his eyes filled with wonder. “Woah! These are so cool looking!” His gaze shot back at Jayn, who felt a jolt of terror fill his body. But Arai just beamed, waving even more enthusiastically. “Thank you Mister Jayn! I hope I can come and see you again soon! I’ll prepare my very best jokes, so you can laugh as loud as you want!”

The hero finally led Jayn out of the art room. He was surrounded by bright colors plastered across the lockers, with what appeared to be paintings of people flattened on the surface.

“Did… Arai do this?” Jayn asked, turning to the hero.

“I’m afraid so,” they responded, looking out over the scene. “Though, I have the feeling it could have been a lot worse. Luckily, he’s not very malicious.”

“Yeah…” Jayn sighed internally. They couldn’t shake the feeling they had escaped the possibility of something horrible.

The Stage: Jayn’s Gunging, via Jayn’s POV

Jayn lay awake in their bed. In their empty house. Their alarm clock sounded endlessly next to their head. They didn’t need it anymore, their nights were completely sleepless. It served only as a reminder that dawn had actually come, that it wasn’t just a trick of her eyes.

Everything felt wrong. Everything was off. Jayn couldn’t get rid of the memories playing like a film in his head. Arai was colorblind. And when Jayn smiled, it got rid of that blindness, and gave the artist everything he had ever wanted. And that’s why he had been incessantly following her, gifting her things, being so very kind to her.

And yet, when he thought back further to the night after homecoming, there was an indescribable sadness to Arai’s gentle smiles. Like he knew wanting Jayn to smile for himself was wrong.

And yet, he still pursued her.

And yet, he still apologized to her.

And yet, he still lied to her.

Did he? Did Arai ever speak any untruthful words?

“When you smile, my world gets brighter … that is the only reason I want you to smile, nothing more, nothing less”

Those words were genuine. They were true.

And yet.

It had been three days since Arai had… transformed. And he hadn’t shown up to school in those days since the incident. Abigale hadn’t said anything, but he looked more and more on edge as the days passed.

Maybe something had happened.

“Ms. Qwynn told me not to tell anyone, or else I’d have to move away again”

Jayn pressed the heels of their hands into their eyes. There was no chance that he had been taken out of school for letting one person know his secret. There was no chance Arai’s mom even knew what transpired in the art room. But, the fact of the matter was that Arai wasn’t in school, so Jayn couldn’t confront him.

The memories and emotions and contradictions swirled in Jayn’s head as they got ready for the morning. They moved as if on auto-pilot, letting their body be puppetted by their routine.

Once they finished everything they needed to, they were pulled out the door by their strings. Funny. They didn’t remember having strings before.

They wandered down the street towards the school, one foot infront of the unsteady other. As they made it closer and closer to Leeside, they felt the tug on their limbs grow stronger and stronger. They beckoned him to let go of his burdens, his control. To take a step back, a step within, and let someone else do the puppetteering for a bit. The prospect of relief was so tantalizing to Jayn that by the time they arrived at school, they had no control over their limbs anymore.

It wandered into the school building and headed down the hall towards its English class. It smiled, waved, and chattered to those around it, its mouth chopping out its words like a guillotine. It smiled its puppet smile, but the sentiment couldn't reach its puppet eyes.

When the door to the English class came into sight, it grew anxious at the prospect of seeing Arai again. It knew he came in early to English class, even if he didn’t have a painting to give it. It had grown to look forward to the game, on whether or not Arai would come and ignore its existence, or wordlessly reach into his bag and pull out another beautiful masterpiece.

It found its seat in the front row and began to unpack its belongings.

Then, it sat.

And waited.

Abigale entered, unaccompanied.

It waited.

The bell rang, students pouring in all around it.

It waited.

The teacher entered, a tired look on her face that brightened slightly at the sight of her bright pink pen.

It waited.

Class began. Arai didn’t come.

It waited.

Class ended. Arai hadn’t come.

That’s when the fire began.

It felt the heat growing in its core, the smoke that trickled out of its mouth. No one heard the smoke detectors. No one heard the fire alarm. No one other than Demetrius, who sat next to it, and a few others behind him, who it could not see but who it could hear.

It felt the wood begin to burn. She felt the burning, the anger, the confusion.

The betrayal.

The wood that had become its skin began to crack. She felt her fire licking out of her shell, heard the gasps to her left, behind her. She glanced up, but the English teacher was being puppetted by something out of view, its movements chaotic and shaky as it pointed repeatedly towards the whiteboard displaying the days assigned reading.

The puppet turned, its wooden neck cracking off in chips from her molten core. The smoke was pouring out uncontrollably as it looked directly at Demetrius, who sat to its left. The other students in the room had been reduced to puppets, but not Demetrius.

She felt it narrow its eyes, the motion cracking more of the wooden shell off. Her mouth was next. It opened up to quip something clever at the valedictorian-wannabe, but all that came out was a hoarse, low rumble, accompanied by a heavy stream of smoke.

Demetrius coughed roughly, then murmured something about trash. When the smoke had cleared, the leather-clad hero who had come to the art room stood in his place. Seeing his face angered her even more, and all that remained of the shell broke off at once. Burning chips of wood shot out in an arc around her.

A towering, smoking being of pure fire swirled around the desk. Her eyes were nothing but voids in the flames as they circled the room, surprised to find two of the three remaining heroes scattered throughout the room.

Her mouth was gone. There was nothing she could do to scream.

Or yell.

Or shout.

Or cry.

Or smile.

All that remained of her was her pure anger. The purest form of her betrayals. Arai had reached out to her, made her feel truly seen, acknowledged. She had been foolish to feel safe around him.

Now, likely ashamed of his actions, he had hidden away, refusing to own up to his misdeeds. Just like everyone else.

Just like her parents.

The fire flared up. The puppets incinerated.

---

The damage to the English room was immense. They’re calling it a gas tank explosion, but the Principal could have sworn there was no such thing under any of the classrooms. Luckily, none of the students were terribly harmed. The worst some got were mild burns akin to sunburns across entire sides of their faces or arms, whatever skin was exposed to the explosion. Miraculously, Jayn’s desk was left completely untouched. Not a single sheet of paper was left singed, not a single smear of soot on its surface. Perfect, as it should be.

Jayn had been subdued by the degungers. She had been unable to communicate to them, but they managed to bring down her intensity by splashing one of the hero’s industrial sized waterbottles on her burning form. That reduced her mostly to smoke, and from there the degungers were able to extrapolate the source of the problem, and soothe Jayn’s worries temporarily.

They said they hadn’t gotten a hold of Arai either.

They said they were getting worried for him.

They said it had been days.

They said she wasn’t alone in her fear.

That helped, at least just a little bit. Arai might not have been hiding from her in particular, but he still wasn’t there. He had still lied to her.

After the school day, Jayn found himself walking aimlessly down the road he had found Arai on the day after homecoming. He stopped where they had stopped, stood where they had stood. They tried to recall how Arai had looked, how his words had made them feel. All that it was replaced by was a light periwinkle smoke, only vaguely representing the shape of the boy who had stood there only a few days prior.

He had broken his way into the walls she had built, the fortress that protected her for years.

No. That was wrong.

She thought back to the way his hand had hovered over her cheek, his kind and gentle words, his simple requests.

“Smile, and I will tell you.”

He hadn’t broken her walls. He had painted a door, and she had made it for him.

She decided that she needed to see him. No matter the cost.

She needed to see him now to get some answers. No more radio silence, no more questions, no more uncertainty.

The Confrontation: After Jayn’s Gunging

AKA Pyrus succumbs to the urge grins

It was dark in his room. Darker than he usually let it get. Arai had transformed as soon as he had gotten back home from school, and hadn’t detransformed since. Who knew how long it had been, he had dropped his phone under his bed as soon as he had gotten it, unwilling to deal with the notifications. He sat on the floor, holding his color whip in all of its beauty gently across his lap. His fingers trailed along its edge, getting stained rainbow as he smeared the colors together. His hand stopped as it approached the cooler colors, and he lifted his fingers as to not sully the beautiful blues that swam there.

A single, firm knock on his door jolted him from his thoughts. It wasn’t his father, who knocked hesitantly twice, or his mother, who rapped incessently until he opened the door. Slowly, he got up and crossed the infinite expanse of his room until he reached the door. Carefully, he turned the doorknob, letting the door creak inwards. The light was scalding compared to his dark room, and he blinked a couple of times before the shadow silhouette came into focus. Before him stood Jayn. Their determined expression morphed into one of surprise and confusion.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought this was Arai’s room…” they drifted off as they stared at Arai’s face, at the new scar that trailed down the right side of his face. At his hair that was down and long except for the two strands that framed his face. The periwinkle was gone, only some few persistent strands remained.

Realization dawned on Jayn’s face.

“Jayn?” Arai croaked. He hadn’t spoken since he had gotten home… How long had it been?

“Ar..ai?” Arai nodded, then remembered he was still transformed, even if he didn’t look the part.

“Sorry, I’ve been in my hero form. I’ll change out-”

“Don’t,” Jayn put a hand up before slipping past Arai and into his room. Arai turned, his back to the open door. “It’s easier this way… It’s your face, but it doesn’t feel like you. I won’t chicken out this way.”

Jayn looked around Arai’s room, staring at the color whip that lay abandoned on the floor, the simple finger paintings littering the floor and the wall.

“I apologize that it’s a little bit of a mess…” Arai murmured. “I can see the paint from the whip, so I’ve stayed transformed in an attempt to stop thinking about you. To keep myself busy.”

Jayn stopped in their tracks, their back to Arai as they scanned the room. “Did it work?”

Arai smiled sadly, looking down at his paint stained hands. “Not really. I kept picturing your terrified face when I took you to the art room. I’m sorry you had to find out about my motivations that way… I was planning on never telling you, since I didn’t think it mattered anymore-”

Jayn turned suddenly, their face twisted in rage. “So it’s true? You just wanted to see me smile so you could ‘fix’ yourself?”

Arai winced at the words. He looked away, into the room and at the forever unfinished family portrait adorning the furthest, darkest corner. He took a deep breath, then turned to face Jayn once again, looking her directly in their burning eyes with all the willpower he could muster.

“You brought so much light and wonder into my life with just a simple smile. I do admit my motivations were selfish at first, but the night after homecoming, I meant what I said about you smiling for yourself. You looked so sad at school, and I realized I couldn’t care less if it meant I could see it, I only wanted you to be smiling. It was too dark to see anything of value that night, except I could still hear your laughter. I could still see your eyes, your eyes that were finally smiling with the rest of you. You look at the world with such wonder when you are content with it. I would live in darkness if it meant you looked at the world like that for the rest of your days.”

Jayn remained silent for a few seconds that felt like an eternity, their hot rage slowly burning down. Tentatively, Arai took a step closer.

“Why?” Jayn finally whispered, their voice barely more than a breath. “Why are you so nice to me? No contradictions this time. No lies, no bluffs. Just tell it to me straight.” She swallowed, her voice breaking ever so slightly. “Please.”

Arai lifted a hand, hovering it around Jayn’s cheek like he had done the night after homecoming. Not close enough to touch, but too close to ignore. “It’s only fair. When I first saw you smile, my first thought was that I needed to keep you to myself. I wanted joy at the expense of your own. I wanted to ensure that I never lived in grayscale ever again. I went back to the park every day I could with the full intention of making you mine. But I didn’t see you, which made me think nonstop about the day I did. When I first saw you smile, you had a look of pure bliss. The world was finally peaceful to you. I looked past that over the summer: I saw your joy as merely a means to an ends. It’s a good thing I didn’t see you return. I hadn’t come to my senses.

“When I saw you on the first day of school, when I gave you the painting, you didn’t smile. Not really. At first I thought I had done something wrong, that view had made you smile only a few months before. As I wondered what mistake I had made, I watched you during class. I watched your eyes remain guarded, completely separate from the world around you, and I realized what I wanted was selfish and cruel. An immense sense of guilt washed over me, but I didn’t know what to do. So, I kept giving you paintings. In every class, every time a question was asked or someone spoke to you, you calculated your next move. You strategized like a general would on the battlefield. I realized you couldn’t possibly be happy, not when you weren’t being yourself. I know, because I was the same way before I moved here. It never worked. I grew tired, irritable, frustrated. Only after a few months I was so burnt out that I couldn’t possibly continue, and then I moved here, so I didn’t. And here you are, maintaining your charade for at least a full year, probably even more.” Arai smiled gently, moving his hand as if to stroke Jayn’s hair, but he never made contact.

“You must be so tired, Jayn.”

Jayn looked to be on the verge of tears, but was maintaining a brave face despite it all. They looked at Arai’s hand, hovering merely an inch away from their face.

“Why do you never touch me,” she asked, looking anywhere but Arai’s eyes. “Afraid you’ll get burnt?”

Arai raised an eyebrow, cocking his head, his hand shrinking back ever so slightly. “You never expressed it was ok to do so. I’m offering my hand for you to accept if you want to, but I won’t touch you unless you close the gap. I don’t want to take anything more from you.”

Jayn’s jaw clenched as their eyes widened. She met his gaze for half a second before physically turning away from him. Arai dropped his hand as he turned to face her back, listening to the silence stretch. He noticed the infinitesemal waver of their shoulders, the near inaudible sound of their shaky break.

No one else would have noticed.

But Arai did.

“After homecoming, I realized what I could do. Standing in the darkness, hearing your laugh, I realized I could try and make you smile without searching for the colors your joy brings to me. I realized it was unfair for me, someone who viewed your joy as a commodity, to finally have found happiness elsewhere while leaving you in the dust. Working as a hero has brought me closer to people than I had ever dreamed could be possible for someone like me. That isn’t fair, not to you. So, if I could trade my light for your joy, I would do it. I’ve found I don’t need the colors to feel joy, not like I thought I did. But what I do want, what I do… need… is for you to feel that joy as well.”

Arai paused, watching as Jayn’s composure began to crumble, the sound of their breath growing louder with each word. “I hope you don’t look at the world like a battlefield anymore. At least not all the time. I would be happy to provide you some respite, but I understand that you want to look for it in someone else,” Arai wanted to reach out, to steady Jayn’s shaking shoulders. He raised his hand, but lowered it again.

Jayn didn’t want his touch. He had made that clear enough.

“There isn’t anyone else…” Jayn finally muttered after a heavy silence, their voice thick and low.

Arai sighed, taking half a step forward. “That’s not true. You don’t need to settle for someone like me. You will find someone else, someone who you know you can trust wholeheartedly, who never harbored any ulterior motives.”

“There has been no one all my life. There isn’t anyone else.”

“You are only 18. You will find someone else-”

“I don’t want to!” Jayn turned suddenly, and Arai’s eyes widened as he took in the scene before him. Jayn’s face was tear-striped, their eyes red and watery. Never before had he seen his face so undone, so vulnerable. “Don’t you get it? Arai, you are the most genuine person I have ever met. Not once did you lie to me. You may feel as if you are unworthy to get to know me, since you feel so guilty for wanting my smile. You say all these things about how you feel like a terrible person, you wanted my joy at my own expense. You wanted to make me yours. You never asked if I wanted to be.”

“I know, and I’m sorry for that. It was wrong of me-”

Jayn held up a hand to shush him. “Coming here, I thought if I heard you admit to the truth of your motivations I would come to my senses, but here you go and write me a poem with your words. You say you’re selfish, but then turn around and say shit like you would give up the ability to see color ever again if it meant I could smile more?”

“Well, I’ve lived my whole life without it-”

“Don’t interrupt me,” Jayn took a step closer, resting a hand on the open door. They closed the gap between themself and Arai, pushing the door closed slowly in the process. The room was washed in near complete darkness, the only light filtering in through the window blinds. “You would be lying if you said being able to see color isn’t your deepest desire. Saying that you would give that up for someone… You have to know what that suggests, don’t you?”

Arai took a step back, but Jayn didn’t slow their advances. “Uhm, well,” Arai swallowed as Jayn took another step and his hand brushed the edge of his bedside table. He didn’t have much more room before he would be pressed against the wall. “It means, uhm…” He couldn’t think straight. Even though Jayn hadn’t touched him, even though they had been this close before, closer even… Arai felt his cheeks heat up, his carefully constructed sentences he had prepared melting into mush inside his mind. He couldn’t look Jayn in the eyes, but he couldn’t bear to look away.

“It suggests that you value my joy over your deepest desire.” Arai felt his back press up against the wall, expecting to see Jayn swoop in for the kill. But Jayn simply stood there, finally stopping in their tracks less than an inch away, still never touching. “It suggests that your deepest desire has been replaced.”

Arai swallowed again, his eyes rapidly switching between Jayn’s own. He watched as her own gaze drifted down to Arai’s mouth, then back to meet Arai’s eyes. “I won’t kiss you unless you close the gap…” she breathed after a beat, her voice barely audible. “I don’t want to take anything more from you.”

Arai’s eyes widened in surprise and he glanced down at Jayn’s mouth, then back up at her eyes. His mind raced along with his heart as he replayed all their past encounters. The scenes they had shared together shot through his mind in reverse order. Every instance of near-touch flashed one after another, until he landed upon his very first memory from the summer: Jayn, staring out at the wide expanse of the park, their smile slight but still so radiant. And his own inability to hide a smile from his face as his eyes took in the wide spectrum of colors surrounding him. But most importantly, as his eyes took in him.

It had been this way from the start.

Arai was jolted back into the present, suddenly aware at how long he was hesitating. “If I do, will you smile?” he whispered, not moving his gaze from Jayn’s.

“I make no promises,” Jayn responded simply.

Slowly, he leaned forward, closing his eyes. Right before he closed the final stretch of distance, he whispered “One man’s treasure, another man’s trash”.

“What?” Jayn murmured, but was quickly silenced.

They had finally touched.

Jayn’s lips were soft, not sticky with strawberry lip gloss, or chapped and scratchy like those he had kissed before. Never once had his heart pounded this hard. Never once had it felt quite like this.

Arai felt his hands slowly raise until they hovered around Jayn’s face, still not quite touching her. He could feel the chill of their fingers on his as they reached up to guided Arai’s hands to Jayn’s face.

Arai pushed off the wall gently, pushing Jayn backwards until his legs bumped against Arai’s bed, causing Jayn to fall suddenly. Arai felt Jayn’s face slip from his hands, and he leaned forward in an attempt to begin kissing her again, but Jayn stopped his advance with a finger.

“What do you think you’re doing?” they asked, moving their hand to grab Arai’s chin, squeezing his cheeks together.

“Uhm. Step number Two?” Arai said through his scrunched up face. “In my experience, Step Two comes after kissing. Step Two is usually why people kiss in the first place.”

Jayn blinked up at Arai, his face contorted comically by her own hands. She cracked a small grin, causing color to wash over her face. “Step Two isn’t necessary. We can just kiss.”

Arai blinked, then smiled softly (as best as he could in his current predicament). He leaned down once more, kissing the corner of Jayn’s mouth as they let go of his face. “You’re smiling,” he murmured as he pulled away.

“You got what you wanted. Look around, take it all in,” Jayn responded, letting his hand drop from Arai’s face to his shoulder, then down to his side.

Arai looked at Jayn, the hues of their hair and eyes barely visible in the low light. He shook his head, closing his eyes and reaching down to pull them in for another kiss. He felt Jayn’s smile against his, and couldn’t contain his grin. “Feeling it is much better.”

When Arai finally pulled away, Jayn’s smile had faded slightly, only a soft curve remained on his face. “You didn’t let me finish earlier, when I said that you never asked if I wanted to be yours.”

Arai paused before sitting down next to Jayn on the bed. He began to open his mouth when Jayn placed a finger to his lips. Their smile grew, sheepish and embarrassed.

“Well, I do. Very much so. Though I think that much is obvious now.” Jayn trailed off, gazing off into the dark room, at the now empty center where the whip had once been. A distant look crossed over Jayn’s eyes, but Arai didn’t push. He sat in silence next to him, waiting for him to say what he needed to.

“You didn’t tell me where you had gone,” Jayn finally spoke.

Arai blinked, confused at the question before understanding. He smiled awkwardly. “To be fair, I didn’t exactly have a way to, did I? I don’t exactly have your phone number.” Suddenly, he was reminded of his phone, which had been abandoned under his bed. “Shit!”

He jumped up and immediately began searching for where it could have possibly fell to. He found it relatively quickly, as it hadn’t fallen far. “Found it,” he murmured before straightening up. He peered over it at Jayn’s confused but amused face. “Uh, here. Type it into contacts or something.”

Jayn took Arai’s phone hesitantly, then scrolled over to the contacts app before promptly typing in their number. And also their three email addresses. “Just in case,” he whispered. He moved to hand it back, then saw the unread notifications on Arai’s messaging app.

“Oh! You’re so popular. I wonder who could possibly want to talk to you!” She teased, and Arai’s eyes widened in horror. He had no clue what had been said during the time he had spent in his room, and more importantly, his contacts were saved under the Degunger’s real names. Jayn was smart, and could figure out the reason he would possibly be hanging out with Demetrius and Clove.

“Uhm, wait one second give that back I don’t know what they’ve been saying it could be bad news or something please give me back my phone-” Arai grabbed for his phone, which Jayn was playfully holding over his head with a big smirk across his face.

“Oh? Top secret information? A classified discussion, perhaps?” Jayn waved Arai’s phone over his head, letting out a triumphant laugh. Arai reached for it, but lost his balance, causing him to fall over Jayn in a very cliche position.

“Well hello there!” Jayn laughed again when he saw Arai’s mortified face. He was just about to scramble off of Jayn when he heard a very familiar voice.

“Arai? Is that… Jayn? Oh my god! I knew it!”

Arai whipped around to see a transformed Abigale perched in the window.

“Looks like our kidnapping plan will have to get postponed. Sorry for interrupting! Bye-bye!” And with that, Arai’s best friend fell from his tower, plummeting quite quickly towards the ground.

“Abi!” Arai fumbled to get off of Jayn, who was losing her mind laughing. As Arai rushed to the window, he heard movement from downstairs. Down on the front lawn. Abigale was grinning like a madman as he dramatically told Val what he had seen. Val covered her mouth with her hands before looking up and making eye contact with Arai.

“Care to join us, loverboy?” she giggled, throwing a thumb over her shoulder at Clove, who was waiting impatiently at the gate.

Arai turned back towards Jayn, a panicked expression on his face. Jayn had gotten up and wandered over to the window, placing a hand lightly on Arai’s lower back as they peered over the windowsill down at the scene below.

“Looks like you have a rescue squad, Arai,” she murmured softly, turning to look at Arai. “Are you going to join them?”

Arai paused for a moment. Suddenly, he heard hurried steps approaching from the hallway, the distinctive click clack of his mother’s heels undeniable.

“Yup, let’s go.” Arai said, and without another moment of hesitation, he transformed before taking Jayn into his arms, bridal style. “Hold on tight, I don’t want to drop you.”

Jayn froze up, but obeyed by wrapping their arms around Arai’s neck. “What are you going to-”

Arai pushed out of the window, leaping into the open air. Jayn’s words died in his mouth as he felt the wind through his hair and his clothes. Arai looked over to see a massive grin on the other’s face. The scene washed itself in color once more, and Arai’s own smile was uncontainable.

Arai can already tell it’s going to be a long night. Homecoming is going to be unbearable. Too many bodies too close together, music too loud and god awful to listen to. It’s a nightmare.

Luckily for him, the other half of the degungers seem to be in the same opinion, as Demetrius is sitting by himself at one of the tables, poorly dealing with a girl who just wants to rest her feet from all the dancing. They’ve only been there for thirty minutes, and Arai already wants to leave

He takes a sip from the punch, recoiling at the bitter taste. It had been spiked. Great.

A flash of orange catches the corner of his eye. Arai only has a split second to react before the entire gym is illuminated in bright, flashing colors.

Too bright. Too many. Too loud. Too many.

Arai downs his punch.

“What is your problem with me?” Arai stiffens at the voice. He could recognize it anywhere, the tell-tale sign that he was going to be complete again, if only for a class period or two. The melody usually feels like music to his ears, gently painting the colors into his world with careful brushstrokes.

But now he feels the malice laced within.

“What?” he manages to croak out, not properly processing what Jayn is asking. He rubs at his eyes, turning away from the source of the overload, but Jayn grabs his arm, forcing him to look at her.

“I asked what your problem with me is,” Jayn looks absolutely livid. Their bright blue eyes reflect the colors of the flashing lights, constantly shifting in hue as Arai struggles to keep eye contact. Arai blinks, doing everything in his power to subdue the lights flashing right into his mind. “I’m sorry, I- I just can’t look at you right now-”

“Oh, that’s just great. Splendid. Now you don’t want to look at me? You stare at me all day everyday, and when I try and make a conversation with you, you sit in silence. All you do is look at me. I’ve tried to be nice, but I’m fed up with it now. I’m fed up with you.”

This isn’t right. This is not the Jayn Arai remembers. This isn’t Arai’s Jayn. Arai’s Jayn is kind, smart, beautiful, caring, selfless, ethereal. He’s Arai’s savior. He’s perfect.

This isn’t my Jayn.

“What did you just say?”

Arai freezes, but his mouth moves on its own. He can’t stop it. “I said: You’re not my Jayn. My Jayn isn’t cruel like this. You’re perfect. You’re mine. Usually. You’re different now. What’s wrong? Why are you acting different? You’re not my Jayn.”

Suddenly, the lights don’t seem so bright anymore. One he starts, Arai can’t seem to shut his mouth. The questions Jayn had asked swirl around in his head, and he spits out an answer like venom.

“My issue? It doesn’t matter what my issue is. You fix it. You fix everything. I love the color of your hair, Jayn. It’s the most beautiful color I have ever seen. It’s called orange, right? And your eyes. They’re similar to my hair, are they not? I like to imagine myself gazing into those eyes forever and ever. That’s called blue, if I remember correctly. There are so many shades of blue, right? That’s the color of the ocean, is it not? I would love to go to the sea with you. I’ve only ever gone with my parents. That’s not really seeing, though. I didn’t know I could really see until you came around, Jayn. I took one look at you last year and knew I needed you. You fix me, Jayn. I look at you and the world becomes beautiful, but as soon as you leave everything is gray again. It makes me so sad, Jayn. I need to see you all the time. How can I be fixed if you’re not there with me?”

Arai feels more eyes turn to fix onto him. He has forgotten he isn’t alone with Jayn, but the words will not stop coming out of his mouth. He’s going to ruin everything.

And yet…

He locks eyes with Jayn. Beautiful Jayn. His Jayn. She’s staring at him, wide eyed. He takes a step closer, leaning in until he feels Jayn’s breath on his nose. He tilts his head, widening his eyes to get a better look.

“You truly do have such wonderful eyes, Jayn. You wouldn’t mind if I took one, would you?”

A camera flashes. And another. Jayn takes a step back, blinking as they collect themselves. They open their mouth, but swiftly close it again as they notice more and more people turning to look at them.

Whispers spread, creating a layer of hush under the loud music. Before Arai can speak another word, Jayn disappears, and his world loses all color once more.

Saying nothing, Arai turns back to the punch to pour himself another cup.

He grins as he takes a sip. It doesn’t reach his eyes.